How To Not Be A Douchebag: Hipsters

In the first addition of our new segment, How To Not Be A Douchebag, we address the newest douchey trend, hipsters. These segments will be quick and to the points. Open for arguments and comments between yourselves, arguments which I will not participate in because I am already right. After the break, hipsters. Note, these images are from all over the internet, there are many hipster venting outlets and I am just bringing them all together in one place.

Is that Pabst Blue Ribbon, the worst beer in the world, coupled with Milwakee's Best and a white girl making the blood sign? She's got it down pat.

LATFH. That is really all I need to say. If you need a definition of a hipster in the form of a real life example, look no further.

Hipsters are everywhere nowadays. They could be your friends, that girl you like, or even your step-dad. If you fall into more than one of these categories, you may be a hipster:

1. Your clothing is too tight. From skinny jeans to tight sweaters, you are a shitter.
2. You do things because they are "ironic." Such as the classic "ironic" trucker hat, or 80's curly mustache. You aren't original or cool, you may also be uneducated because you do not understand what the word "ironic" means.
3.  You are rich, but still dress like crap because you think it is once again, "ironic" or you are just trying to fit in with other hipsters.
4. You only like music because no one else has ever heard of it, even if it is verified crap. Then, once it is on the radio instead of being happy for your band or artist, you disown them for "Selling out" by doing what they were trying to do; make money by doing what they love.
5. You are in a band. They only play in the garage of that one hipster's mothers house and you generally cover old Fall Out Boy songs or make rock songs from Lil' Wayne songs because it is ironic and trendy to you.
6. You are a girl who usually only wears plaid or checkered lumberjack men's shirts. Along with your skinny jeans, Chuck Taylors or Pumas that is. 
7. You get really really mad when someone calls you a hipster.
8. You just discovered Dubstep and think you are the only person who "really understands" it, even though it is just fun music. Same goes for Ratatat and MGMT etc. Also, you don't even realize that MGMT isn't really a band they have been around has producers for many years and decided to make an album.
9. You wear incredibly thick glasses with no frames in them because you don't even need glasses. I wear glasses, they aren't fun or cool looking. 
10. SOHO is your hood.
11. Apparently, if you use the work Deck instead of Cool. I didn't even know that was a phrase.
12. Here's a quick break with a list found from The Hipster Handbook.
1. You graduated from a liberal arts school whose football team hasn't won a game since the Reagan administration.
   2. You frequently use the term "post-modern" (or its commonly used variation "PoMo") as an adjective, noun, and verb.
   3. You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.
   4. You have one Republican friend who you always describe as being your "one Republican friend."
   5. Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.
   6. You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Definitive Jux, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, and Drag City.
13. You read, listen to what they say, enjoy, agree with, or are affiliated with Pitchfork.com and their music "reviews"
14. Cracked has a great guide to what is Deck or Lame.
15. You are the person who picks the music for Apple's commercials, specifically their iPod commercials. Damn I hate those songs. Then they become popular and on the radio and fake hipsters who don't realize they are supposed to not like the music because it is popular fall in love with it. I call them Mainstream Hipsters. That is an oxymoron, deal with it.
16. Wait, maybe it is not, because hipster is becoming mainstream.
17. You have paid $50 for used shoes, or if you have bought used shoes at all.
18. "You started a band last week—actually three bands. Two broke up because you couldn’t agree on a name and the third disbanded because you couldn’t find anyone to be in it, and because you couldn’t agree on a name." - Somewhere from the internets.



This, so much of this

20. That picture was #19, too lazy to format. Anyways, the last one I have is: You are a liar. You shopped at Abercrombie, you listen to the radio, you are a Republican at heart. 

Call me an asshole, say "you mad" or that I'm venting or covering up that I'm actually a hipster. Believe what you want, but this list is awesome and I hate hipsters and you should too.