Normally I don't care for anything but the dunk contest, but when the rosters were revealed for each event I become more and more interested in watching. Viewers will be lucky enough to see a bunch of bright young stars competing against each other and against some old veterans. Each event is broken down after the break.
First up is the Celebrity Game: I'm going to start off with the most disappointing part of the weekend. In years past I can normally watch part of this game because they have some entertaining people playing. This year the list of celebrities is pretty boring compared to previous games. The only reason I'll watch is to see Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban get stomped on by large black men. Maybe Ochocinco will make a surprise appearance, that would certainly spark things up. It's not out of the question since T.O. normally comes in after halftime and the two have recently become good friends.
Update: I'm really upset that Michael Rapaport won MVP. They basically gave it to him as a joke but still. This man is NOT funny and pretty much 100% untalented. T.O. put on a good show again. Other than that this was mediocre.
Rookie Challenge: This is really just a rookie challenge. This game has only been a challenge for the sophomores twice. If the rookies are ever going to make a push for a win this game is the game. I know the sophomore's roster is pretty damn impressive but the rookies can still do it. Fortunately for the rookies, sophomore superstar Derrick Rose will not play in the rookie challenge due to a hip bruise. The biggest thing the sophomores have going for them is big men. The rookies have NO centers. The sophomores strong points are Marc Gasol, Brook Lopez and Kevin Love. Oh, and do not forget who their head coach is; it's none other than Patrick Chewing. The rookies have a few Big Thing's Poppin for them also. Lead by a fantastic back court of Stephen Curry, Brandon Jennings and Tyreke Evans, the rookies have a chance at winning. If they combine those stars with the spectacular assistant coaching ability of Kevin Durant they can definitely win.
I knew the Rookies could win. Blair, Evans, Jennings and Curry were fantastic. Also Patrick Ewing did not coach as promised, and that probably had a lot to do with it.
H.O.R.S.E. Competition: Speaking of Kevin Durant, he will be defending his title as the H.O.R.S.E. Champion of the World! Or at least the champion of 3 people. He will be going up against rookie Omri Casspi of the Sacramento Kings and known huge faggot Rajon Rondo of the Boston Celtics. I hate to break it to you but some rookie from Israel and a dirty cheat like Rondo have no chance of beating the sweet shooting Kevin Durant at H.O.R.S.E. unless they do something crazy like the Double Menorah McTwist or we see Rajon trip Durant during his shot. I don't think Rajon can get away with it like he does during games.
Shooting Stars Competition: This shit is stupid. Don't watch it.
Skills Challenge: This year features 4 fantastic point guards including 3 past champions: Steve Nash, Deron Williams(who holds the fastest time) and returning champ Derrick Rose. The new comer is rookie sensation Brandon Jennings. I don't know how accurate he will be, but he is lightning fast on the court. Deron and Nash hold the 2 fastest times on record, while Rose has the slowest time for any winner at a full 10 seconds slower. This is a new year though so anything could happen.
Also, this contest is hosted by Taco Bell to maximize awesomeness.
3 Point Shootout: Danilo Gallinari vs. Stephen Curry is all that needs to be said. Those guys are awesome and I hope one of them wins. Well I hope Curry wins as he is the most superlificawesomest clutch college 3 point shooter of all time. If he doesn't I'd be happy with Gallo winning. Paul Pierce is also in this...God only knows why. Excuse me, Gawd to all you Bawstoners. He's not even the best 3 point shooter on his team, Ray Allen should replace him.
Slam Dunk Contest: Nate Robinson is trying to become the first 3 time winner ever. He's up against Shannon Brown, a player who has been under Kobe's shadow all season while putting up monster dunks every game. The third contestant and my pick to win is Gerald Wallace of the Charlotte Bobcats. He's one of the most underrated players in the game. The guy is a great scoring small forward who has the strength and rebounding ability of the best centers in the league. The final player will be determined from the victor of the first ever dunk-off between Eric Gordon and DeMar DeRozen. I want Eric to win because a guy with two capital letters in his first and last name just annoys me.
Finally, the actual All Star Game: To be honest I don't recall ever watching the real game in recent years. The last time I watched was when Tmac did this:
I just can't see it getting any more amazing. This year will also be the first year in a long time without Shaq. Last year Shaqctus did an amazing performance with the Jabbawockeez. Let's see what the NBA can do this year.
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