Friday's Sports Feature: Urban Meyer, Big Tool... Or Biggest Tool?

I generally dislike the University of Florida because I am a fan of THA U. Maybe I should just change my hatred to Urban Meyer and leave the rest of the Florida football program out of it. Why? Because Urban Meyer is a classless faggot; in the loud and annoying South Park definition.

Lets go back to 2006. When Urban said this,

Florida coach Urban Meyer said Sunday a rematch between Michigan and Ohio State would be cause for immediate change to the BCS. “If that does happen, all the [university] presidents need to get together immediately and put together a playoff system,” he said. “I mean like now, January or whenever to get that done.”

He then went on to say that the other top teams like Arkansas, Notre Dame and USC don't deserve to be in the race for the Championship either. That's real classy; I thought coaches were supposed to have some sort of respect for one another.

He is also renown for his dirty recruiting tactics. When Florida was about to have corner back Patrick Johnson to commit, they learned that he had faulty test scores on the ACT's. Urban was fine with that, until Johnson decided to committed to LSU; then Meyer flagged the scores and called the compliance office to complain.

Sunglasses, because the sun never sets on a badass

I'm sure all of you saw Brandon Spikes try to GOUGE out the eyes of Washaun Ealey. That deserves some pretty serious punishment. At least a 1 game suspension. Urban Meyer decides to give him dinner without dessert, and no TV for a night, and suspends him for the FIRST HALF of next week game vs. Vanderbilt; a team with a 2-7 record. Most people are calling this a joke and just disrespectful. Luckily Spikes, even at his young age, has more sense and pride than Urban Meyer and is suspending himself for the whole game. I bet Urban crapped himself and ran to lock himself in his room after he heard that one.

Aside from being a giant turdburger as a coach, Urban Meyer is also notorious for his gay man crush on his star player, Tim Tebow. Now you may argue that it would be hard for a coach not to appreciate a player that is leading their team to being ranked #1 in the BCS, but this is more than a qb/coach relationship, as Meyer may as well say he wants to swallow Tim's man gravy. He not only thinks Tebow is the greatest qb in college football at this time, but also donned him as, "one of the greatest players of our era." Considering that Tebow has only succeeded in college football, it's obviously too soon to call Tebow one of the best players to ever play the game, but that's only what a rational thinking person would say, which is obviously a title that Urban Meyer does not hold.

He wants Tim's manbabies