George W. Bush : Crack Slinger

With the Rangers manager Ron Washington getting caught doing cocaine a year after Josh Hamilton, a Rangers outfielder, came back from a cocaine rehabilitation period I have to ask, "What the hell happened  to the Rangers organization?" George W. Bush is what happened.

That is right! The same man who single-handedly:
    1.    Started the War in Iraq
    2.    Bombed the World Trade Center
    3.    Ruined the economy
    4.    Looks like a monkey
    5.    Probably murdered Jeb Bush
    6.    Started the Holocaust
    7.    And whatever else he gets blamed for also started the downfall of  Texas  Ranger's organization.

Most citizens of this great country of ours know about his past party habits. Lil' George drank, partied and smoked some bud. There is one more less known allegation, that he used cocaine. He was known at college by some friends and sellers to dip his nose in the powder from time to time. Even his sister Sharon was once quoted saying, “He and Marvin did coke at Camp David when their father was president and not just once, either.”


Back when George attended Yale University the most popular drug on campus was cocaine. Anonymous sellers have stated that they "remember selling to him." One of his friends recently said that he did cocaine many times with George but he didn't say anything since he didn't want to “[blow] George’s cover because [he] was doing the same thing”.

George's little drug problem never hurt anyone except his own body, until one fateful purchase in 1989. This was when he bought the then innocent Texas Rangers franchise. Being the Devil that George was, he brought his terrible addiction right through the front doors of the organization. He ruled for 10 years until Tom Hicks bought them in 1999. Unfortunately in that time period all the damage had already been done. Giving W. 10 whole years to destroy something is more than enough years.

It is obvious that he influenced the whole cocaine problem that the Rangers suffer from today. It's just like when your older brother that you idolize starts doing something, you are obviously going to walk in his footsteps. The poor little Rangers never stood a chance with Uncle George painting the halls of their stadium snow white.

Now that their best player and their own commander in chief have been caught sniffing powder, what's to stop the rest of the team from skiing? You are a blind fool if you don't suspect a franchise wide scandal. A blind fool!